Unaddicted

Yes, my dear and most personal friends, I must let you know that the joy of my life, well, coffee, is being added to my list of what I am unaddicted to. I’ve managed to get through the hard part with few migraines, largely with the help of tea and very few ibuprofens. I’m drinking water like a champ. I think I might even exercise a bit before the debate tonight.

My poor little body did let me know when I had been drinking too much of the stuff. It was like 4 to 6 cups a day, well, a thermos-full. All of the sudden my body let me know that enough was enough, and that it could no longer tolerate my favorite beverage.

And so I have now embarked upon the trail of tea, until my body tells me that is no longer allowable, and I’m glad to be back on the tea track. I think I’ll become better friends with my niece, who also does love the stuff.

Right now I’m only addicted to a few things, and they are the medicines allotted to me for my various nervous and anxious conditions. Thank God that I don’t have pain. Thankfully I manage to have MS without pain, although I know that some do and my heart goes out for their relief. So painkillers have never been my problem, only anti-anxiety helpers. But I don’t drink or smoke, and that bodes well for my health insurance, so I can still work a full-time job. At least until the Great Unraveling of All Things Civil, which I hope does not erupt in this election year.

Praise the Lord I’m old enough to have learned that life does go on, but a part of me is still waiting for the End. I pray we all might be saved before that day, safe in the knowledge that we are loved. I think becoming unaddicted to coffee might help me through the End Times anyway, so it’s all going to be all right, and I’ll probably become less anxious in the Mean Times.

#Tea #Peace #Jesus #Future #Hope #Nature #Earth #Space #Dog #Cat #Bonsai

New Tree

In this fabulous, amazing, good-for-you world, I bought a bonsai at the grocery store! Yep, this is modernity.

It’s a sweet lttle juniper in a stripey blue and beige toned pot, and I promise you that this is my new best friend. He/She has been enjoying its new home right atop a bookshelf in my bedroom, and it can look over at “Snake,” the snake plant that lives on a nearby shelf who has just now unceremoniously received the name, “Snake.”

I don’t know how to call my new bonsai yet, so I’ll just let her get acclimated. I did just decide that she is a girl, though, and that “Snake” is a boy, and that they are married. It’s sort of like my dog and my cat. Like my husband and me. We are all in love.

By the way, I’ve pinpointed my seasonal mental health tendencies, and I do believe that it is in the fall that I am okay, not depressed, glad, and thankful. Spring is right out, though. Every April I lose my mind. Well, not so much now that I’ve decided that I’m better, and know that I am. I think I’ve just grown out of it all, and take my medicine like a champ. Just think how well I’d do if I actually exercised and meditated with regularity, but right now I’m just blogging for mental health fitness.

If I were truly worth my salt, I’d accompany this post with a picture of the new tree that I adopted, but I honestly don’t care that much. She’s still a new little thing, and I don’t want to make her nervous. I must let you know that she, too, is a champ, because when I first brought her home, I did set her next to the old bonsai skeleton in the kitchen, while not really thinking. Maybe I did want her to know about my poor caretaking skills, or maybe it’s Halloween almost and I wanted to make her strong and brave. In any case, my remedy was to set her next to my other living plants, before I eventually moved her to her new home.

“New Tree Bonsai Lady Plant with No Official Name Yet” has already improved my life, and I’m so thankful for her presence. Even better, she lives on my bookshelf that also makes me so very happy. My little dog is asleep and we would have achieved perfect domestic bliss were it not that my husband is in the other room, probably enjoying the time apart. I love the fact that our house is alive, and that we all appreciate the beauty of life on Earth.

#Bonsai #Nature #Living #Indoors #Hope #Future #Botany #Space #Peace

All of my Dreams…

Came true today at the DollarTree! I had been looking for some time to repeat a purchase I had made in the past of a glass teacup, which I had found of another one at a following visit. With both teacups being chipped currently, my search had repeatedly been in vain, and I thought that it would be that way forever. Today I saw the teacups! I bought two of them. It was a dream come true!

They also had googly eyes and velcro adhesive dots, so I bought some of them as well. A chew toy for my doggie rounded out the purchase, and I got some change back from my ten dollar bill that was burning a hole in my wallet.

My doggie does not understand the chew toy yet, so I think she’s just being difficult because I had given her a bath earlier. She looks so pretty now, so I do hope that she figures out the chew toy. I got a pink one and everything.

For a perfect day, my husband and I had visited our family after the dollar store visit, and then came home and ate leftovers for dinner. I am completing the evening with a cup of chai tea for spicy yumminess. Now I’ll do some reading along with my chores of changing the sheets on our bed. I hope I can get my husband not to go to sleep on the made up bed, because I really want to change the sheets right now.

But my dreams came true today with a simple discovery of teacups that are just so lovely and made of glass! In another life perhaps I had been a glassblower, but in this one I’m a dollar store seeker of treasure and bed maker-upper. Will he yield the comfort to allow me to complete my chore on a Saturday evening? We shall see. In any case, I’m still going to believe that it has been a perfect day.

#Teacup #Glass #Happy #Simple #Tea #Spices #Family #Dog

What a Relief!

I just want to thank all of you for reading these crazy musings of a nice, yet once conflicted old lady. Actually, writing these not profound passages has very much helped me to clear my mind, and also to learn how not to worry so much. Concentrating more on grammar and spelling than on the weight of the world, does a world of good to someone once so ill that such an undertaking would have been impossible.

This blog has also helped me to work out my childbearing anxieties, and now I truly believe that I’m okay to be childless, which is something I really did need to work out on my own to resolve the madness. It was not so bad, the past, but it was also quite terribly miserable and stultifying. It was hard for me to live in the world of social media, and just about anywhere with the self-debilitating fears of not being good enough.

Life is such a blessing! I can’t begin to explain how I was faithful yet despondent, but that was it. Thankfully it all worked out with the help of my meds and my not becoming a counselor, because that would have killed me with “compassion fatigue” and further fear-making. I can’t even say it’s diet or exercise, or tell you, dear reader, how to overcome mental illness, because that’s your business and your precious journey.

All that I can say today is that I live one day at a time, and try to do my best while trusting God above to do the rest. Life is so much better when you trust Him!

Today I drank no coffee, and only one cup of black tea, two glasses of green tea. I firmly believe in trusting wellness to phytochemicals and water, and our precious Lord who made this life-bearing Earth.

My prayers today, and every day, are for peace and safety, hope and faith. Always love.

#Faith #Hope #Love #Medicine #Healing #Word #Blessings

Positivity

As someone who has lived with chronic depression for more than twenty-five years, I’m so thankful and blessed and relieved to finally be better. I think part of my recovery is because of my dog. If you also are chronically depressed, yet have never had a dog friend, maybe you could look into it. Cats are also quite wonderful, and beautiful, too.

Today at work I almost had to cry because of my frustration of the human condition, having discomfort and unease about my health, but I kept on keeping on. The day got better, and I did find myself with some smiles toward the end of it.

Although my #schizoaffective diagnosis, circa 1996, makes me wonder sometimes if maybe I’m just bipolar and on an upswing at times, I’m fairly certain that my illness is actually depression, but now I’m happy like how I never had been in the past. Again, perhaps it is the dog friend. It might also be my husband with whom I fight every day, because we live together.

Mainly, I’m thrilled to be alive now, and much less anxious because my beliefs have actualized. Ever so grateful, I can probably quit complaining now. I gave up another source of pleasure and joy and positivity, my darling coffee, liquid gold, and am back to a couple of cups of tea per day, instead of a thermos of coffee. I’m drinking much water, and probably making myself healthier with this particular magic regimen. Just call me Detox, and I will keep it up. Thus far, no migraines, and I’ve not been abusing my ibuprofen.

Sorry not to have been here for some time recently, but I think it was part of the detox along with a busy week. My dog and my cat and mainly my husband have been keeping me alive in the meantime. I confess, I love life. My Lord and my Savior promised me this sweetness of living waters, for sure.

#Health #Recovery #Patience #Faith #Hope #Love #Dogs #Cats #Beauty

Flu Shot

Well, I got my flu shot yesterday, as I had promised, but this was followed by intense anxiety! I worried that I had actually already done so and just forgotten, at one of my recent doctor visits. There were no adverse effects, and no magic flu or unseemly vomit, so I think that I’m okay. I can’t remember things very well, and my sister assured me that the drug store would definitely run it through the insurance before administering the shot, so it would be highly unlikely for it to be doubled up when promised as free.

It makes me wonder if my Lord and Savior does not just find me to be daft and ill-witted at times, and that I’ve got sympathy salvation or something. This also is highly unlikely, because I do find Him to be as great as the promises that one hears.

In any case, it has been a lovely day of church online, laundry, and my husband’s hot and sour soup. Our dog did not bite our friend who came to visit, but I did capture her inside while the boys sat outside, avoiding aerosol germs and entertaining our precious cat. My joy over the good day for the cat overshadows my dismay at my ill-mannered dog, but we all know how much I will always love her anyway. To tell the truth, she actually did cheer up in the morning when my husband and I were sharing our coffee and she was just so very happy. She shed an actual, quite real, and sincere tear that melted my heart entirely.

Although my past has been riddled with ill-health and questionable behavior, the domestic bliss of the present moment in these recent days is enough to allow me to continue to believe, to the eradication of my mental illness. I mean, the MS is still there, of course, but I do my best. Faith is the part of the equation that keeps me alive and walking, and feeding my pets. My very short dog approved of the altered feeding tray shelf that had been trimmed by my husband’s carpenter friend, and all of this makes for a very good day.

#Bliss #Hope #Faith #Cat #Dog #Recovery #Sobriety #Health #Promises #Vaccination

Good News

Y’all! Today is going to be the very best day. I have already slept away the morning, and what a treat that was. Onward to go to my favorite shopping place, the drug store, and I cannot wait to go in and browse, buy at least one Christmas gift, get the rewards on my rewards card for that shopping, and to pick up my husband’s medicine out of the kindness of my heart. What this really means is that he won’t be waiting for me in the car, so I can enjoy the pharmacy, my favorite shop. I’ll be wearing my mask and not getting close to other shoppers, absolutely. Adventure morning! (Afternoon to the rest of the world. It’s 2 pm)

My other plans for the day involve exercise and diluted coffee drinking, perhaps making some tea as well. I know! Living the good life. Really though, it is the good life to be able to have a weekend like this, and I hope for the best for everybody reading as well. Next weekend I work on Saturday, so this is my moment, for sure. Going to do some laundry later today, too!

The good news is, of course, my appreciation for the Good News (Gospel) of Jesus Christ, who makes all of this possible for me. He has kept me from further sickness or disability, and kept my husband healthy, too. What a God we serve! He loves us so very much, by living and dying and living again in our hearts through that Gospel message. If you want to learn more, you are so much invited to read His book, the Bible! That’s the best of it, that it’s for everyone. How thoughtful and kind!

In any case, with this morning’s errand running enthusiasm, I wish you all the very best for this day and every day, with blessings of peace and love. I pray that no meanies get on your case, and that stress won’t get you down. I hope for a lovely Saturday for all of us, united in our love for human beings that share the planet with our green and furry and scaly friends. Plant a garden if you can, and then tell me about it, because my gardening skills are lacking right now. I will be so happy for you all with your creativity and hopefulness for the future, and I pray that your positive attitude might be kindled by the smiles of your neighbors. God Bless!

#Peace #Love #Pharmacy #Autumn #Hope #Future #Present #Peace

Peppermint

At the end of my work day yesterday, I collected one of the peppermints on the breakroom table, and ate its chalky goodness as I made my way home. Yes, it was indeed one of those chalky peppermints, rather than the traditional hard candy Starlight Mint, that’s really good, too, but not as good, to me.

Perhaps during this political season, we should just quit voicing our opinions on social media, and trust that each individual is able to think for his or her own self. I know that there are a lot of hot ticket items right now, and I’m doing my best to separate myself out of that, for the sake of my sanity. I know it’s selfish, but it’s how I choose to live.

I’m not entirely convinced that I’m not just a coward, that I’ve been running the risk of going to Hell, but still I persist in my trust of the Higher Power that is so incredibly up above it all that He provides really good peppermints for a working woman, just because He loves like that. I used to try to understand and figure out the Apocalypse, but then I got older, and took my meds as religiously as needed to hold a full-time job. Along with taking my meds comes the realization that God is so good that He can and does take care of it All.

I think that there should be separation of church and state, and that was one of the main reasons for our beloved country. I still have to go to work to buy food for my family and pets, and I wear my mask every day at work and when I go out. I pay taxes like a champ, and provide lots of work for the medical community, because they are really trying. I think we’re all really trying.

In these days of opinion sharing and freedom of speech, please go vote. Remember peace and love at all times, and try not to send anybody to Hell. It’s not a pleasant place, but we don’t know what it is really like, because we dwell on Earth. Hopefully we can toggle some things out, and I pray that we all survive, especially with our brains intact. It’s like space travel, man. My husband prefers that our collective humanity might bring us to live under the sea instead of space, so the plight of the sea turtle is part of my heart.

What I’m trying to say is that I’m too childish for existential questions, and that really I should have a peppermint instead of tackling the grown-up conversations. I don’t think the grown-ups are all that good at getting it right anyway. We all die at the end.

#Earth #Trials #Faith #Hope #Love #Future #Speculative #Fiction #Realities

Greek Yogurt

How I do love thee, Greek yogurt. I did a thing this morning, when my Cheerios wore out and I needed more protein. I had Greek yogurt with turmeric powder and wild Maine blueberries and cinnamon, and it was delicious, even though strong turmeric flavor does wear me out sometimes. I’m thinking that the nutritional benefits of this concoction are enough to keep me alive and healthy, on this fine Labor Day.

Also, this morning, I remembered about the dog from Greek mythology that bars the entrance to Hades, to keep the dead from leaving. I know, right? I had a little Internet help, even some Wikipedia tutelage, to conjure up the word, “Cerberus.” I figure this knowledge might come in handy, and that truly I need to learn tales of Greek mythology to go along with my yogurt consumption.

I think it might be nice to have classes on folktales and mythology for kids coming up in the world, instead of waiting until college when it is already too late to take the lessons.

In any case, my sweet doggie bit our visiting friend on the ankle, leaving a mark, but no blood. She only wants my husband and me to be at our home, and is always on guard. Not leash trained, but exceptionally affectionate, to only the two of us. She is wary of her sister, our cat, but has learned to stop barking at her for enjoying our front yard.

Thankfully she is not a three-headed dog, and her disposition is tempered by her gratefulness and love of the food we give her. I do think that the whole world is best explained by dogs and cats, although all of the animals are welcome here, in my brain. I’ll keep you posted also on my turmeric consumption, and will pray that I get through the giant tub of powdered turmeric. I trust that human bodies are meant for healing and recovery, and that the human adventure is a lovely one.

Take care!

#Dog #Cat #Healing #Mythology #Folktales #Children #School #Hope #Trust #Peace

Good Kind of Sorrow

My heart is somewhat broken about the most trivial of matters, but it is a good kind of sorrow, because it just may lead to a happy ending.

Okay, so I ordered a teapot online, because that is what you do when given a gift card. Seriously, it was even a reward for a job well done. Who wouldn’t have ordered a commemorative teapot?

I just got the message a few minutes ago that this lovely teapot is no longer available and that I should go suck eggs. The teapot will never be mine! I didn’t want that sorry old teapot anyway.

If all goes well, I might be able to try again. At this point, it is so sad that it just has to turn good, right?

I reject thee, material world, and I will just keep on making my own tea in my regular teapot, commemorative or not. It is all about the tea, and good health!

#Positive #Optimism #Tea #Nature #Plants #Earth #Hope #Later!